Animals as Healing Portals

Extraordinary beings come in all forms. When we see with our hearts, we open ourselves to beauty and grace and a peace that passes all understanding.

Tami Hendrix

Recently, I was catching up with my friend, and she told me a moving story about a cat named Doodles.

In 1957, she and her sister were given kittens. Hers was black and white: a sweet, cuddly boy. He followed her everywhere and climbed into her bed at night. She fed Doodles cream in a little saucer that she would wash every morning and evening. She took great care for his well-being. Doodles was her best friend.

One day she came home from school and couldn’t find Doodles anywhere. She looked in all his favorite places, called his name and looked for hours that turned into days. She asked every neighbor she could find if they had seen him. She was heartbroken. She asked her dad to help her create signs to put up around the neighborhood, which he did.

Doodles was never to be seen again.

She tucked her heart wound deep inside and made sure she would never feel that hurt again. She never had another animal after that.

For 50 plus years, she made carefully controlled choices to avoid having any animals near her or in her life. In fact, after her divorce, she continued to barricade her heart by making a list of acceptable qualities or traits in a new partner. What was her number 1 requirement?

You guessed it — no animals! Ever!

Fast forward to our conversation when she casually mentioned that she liked to doodle on paper …and was doodling while we talked.

Then she burst into tears. Though I wasn’t quite sure what had happened to trigger her crying, the tears felt important. We both were silent as she cried — great heaping sobs pouring from her heart.

I waited until she was ready to talk again. You see, it is the silence between our words that holds the greatest gifts.

When she began again, her voice was calm, with an almost ethereal feel. Some big piece of her life had just dropped in.

I was curious to hear her discovery.

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Before her father passed a few years ago, they were sitting outside and he pointed to a pear tree in the back yard.

She said, “Dad, I don’t remember that pear tree.”

He said, “Oh, sure you do, honey. It’s where that cat is buried.”

She felt her heart pound and her breath quicken.

Though she was so much older, she actually had to take a deep breath to ask one question: “Dad, are you talking about a Doodles, my black and white kitten? You know, the one I had as a child?”

He looked at her, his eyes watery and sad.

“Yes,” he replied. “One cold morning, I got in my truck to head to work. As I was backing out, I felt this bump and odd noise. So I got out and saw that I had run over the kitten and that he was dead. I got a shovel, buried him at the foot of the pear tree and headed to work.”

He stopped for a moment, and then said in a soft voice, “I didn’t tell you then, because I didn’t want to hurt you, and I didn’t want you to hate me.” He paused, and in the smallest of voices said, “Do you hate me for what happened? Do you hate me for not telling you?”

“Of course, I don’t hate you, dad. But I do wish I had known.” She gave him a big hug, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Her dad passed a few years after and she continued on with her life. In her work, she would often gather people together for special retreats in faraway places for learning excursions.

Recently she was on an excursion to a beautiful island in Greece. One night the group gathered around a fire. Each person shared a special memory of an animal. When it was her turn, she found herself sharing the poignant story of Doodles. Even talking about it brought tears to her eyes, as it was the first time she had shared the story with anyone. That night she felt a strange tug in her heart.

The next morning after breakfast, the group headed out for an excursion that would last the day. My friend felt an odd hesitation. Something told her not to go. She just wanted to be by herself. So they headed off and she headed toward town. She found a cafe at the edge of town — one with shade trees, small tables and tourists who were walking by holding hands, laughing, smiling. She chose a quiet area — a small table near the edge so she could people watch. And think. Just be with herself.

After ordering, she stared off, reflecting on the night before and how and why she had opened up to a group of strangers by sharing a deeply personal heart story. She felt a little vulnerable. Just then something moved at her feet. She looked to see a little black and white cat, just like Doodles, staring at her. She couldn’t believe her eyes as the little cat started purring and rubbing against her leg.

Quickly, she asked the server for a saucer and some milk and watched as the little cat hungrily lapped it up. He stayed with her all morning as she gave him saucer after saucer of milk. She lost track of time as she and the little cat got to know each other. He eventually climbed on her lap and went to sleep. She openly wept, but this time they were happy tears that came from a heart full of love. She felt whole again.

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She stopped talking as she realized for the first time the implications of her simple but profound experience.

“I have always … for 50ish years… felt bad when my friends’ dogs or cats would be around me…didn’t like it,” she said. “And now I have this new hope about life since this experience and our talk today. I’m more optimistic than usual. And I realized just now…that one requirement will no longer be on my list for potential partners.”

It is in the unexpected moments when we least expect it that the greatest healings can occur. Guided by a little cat from childhood, my friend was gently led to the very revelations that would heal her heart wound and allow her to live life in a different way.

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You can find out more about me by visiting tamihendrix.com